The Nuance of Dating in Secret
We live in a world of extremes; either you obnoxiously express your love to a world that doesn’t care, or you mysteriously hide your relationship from those closest to you. Having a private relationship isn’t all bad – especially if there are reasons that you need to keep it secret to keep you or your partner safe – but you must question why your potential partner wants a secret relationship. Join us as we explore the reasons why and whether a completely private relationship could work.
Discreet Relationships Definition
Before we begin, we must explicitly define what we mean when we’re talking about a hidden relationship. Many people decide to keep their relationship hushed in the beginning or don’t talk about it much as they don’t want to jeopardize the relationship, but that doesn’t make the relationship discreet or hidden. A secret relationship is when you or your partner has decided to date but don’t want anyone knowing about your connection to one another in that manner. Many people later may retract this; however, we’re talking about the explicit need to ask a partner to keep your relationship a secret.
Reasons for Keeping a Relationship Secret
There are never going to be clear-cut reasons for keeping your relationship private and we can’t pretend to know all the nuances of your partner’s mind, however, we believe there are two clear-cut reasons as to why somebody may want to keep the relationship a secret, which include:
• Tricky, Jealous or Dangerous Ex. Your partner may have had an awful – and we’re talking highly dangerous and frightening – experience with an ex who is possessive and/or aggressive. They may need to keep their relationship a secret encase it reaches their ex, so they may want a hidden relationship to keep themselves and you safe.
• Cheating. To ignore cheating as a reason to keep a relationship secret would be ignorant of us. Many people understand it is easy to share information now and that their indiscretions may reach their partner. By keeping a relationship secret they hope to limit this chance and effectively cheat on their spouse without repercussions.
As stated, there could be many reasons why your partner wants to keep your relationship secret, so you should always discuss their reasoning before agreeing to hide your relationship.
Do Secret Relationships Work?
It can depend on the individual, but as a rule, a hidden relationship is doomed to fail. The constant need to lie and not being able to express yourself can get to most people even if they were ok with it to start with. Being cautious about a relationship is fine, however, continuing to hide the nature of your relationship should ring alarm-bells and make you wonder why they feel the need to keep your connection with one another secret.
In the end, it depends on your situation, what you’re comfortable with and what kind of relationship you’re looking for but seeing someone secretly never works out. Honesty is one of the foundational elements needed for a successful relationship and if you’re constantly lying – even if its just to people outside of your relationship – you’ll never be able to build a strong and genuine bond to your partner.